


My Random Seddie Oneshots

by Symphony Solider



Category: iCarly
Genre: Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2010-08-21
Updated: 2011-04-25
Packaged: 2014-04-15 14:48:38
Rating: K
Chapters: 24
Words: 15,781
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6259879/1/
Author URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/2340319/Symphony-Solider
Summary: Some are fluffy, some are sad, most are random; all are Seddie. ENJOY. Ratings vary.





	1. Death of the Departed

_**My Random Seddie Oneshots**_

_Some are fluffy, some are sad, most are random; all are Seddie. ENJOY. Ratings vary._

**Disclaimer-I wrote a letter, to Dan, asking very nicely for the rights to iCarly; he said no.**

_This one is rated T no sexual content, just a more mature theme._

**Death of the Departed**

**Freddie's POV**

_**8:34**_

The clock mocks me. It rules my life for the next 2 minutes.

2 minutes. That's all it is. 2 measly minutes, then it'll happen. Then she'll happen.

_Tick tock….tick tock…. tick tock…._

Over and over. It doesn't stop. Seconds past and my anticipation grows. The seconds seem like days. Time is moving too slowly. But it's been that way since it happened. Since she turned into a different person, not because she wanted to, because someone made a stupid mistake and she was forced to. She was forced to change; forever. There was no turning back. Her life changed in a split second.

And so did everyone else: Spencer, Gibby, Carly

Me

Even people who you'd never expect it to change their lives even the slightest; Chuck, Mrs. Briggs, Mr. Howard. Hell, even Lewbert is depressed.

All because she changed.

Life isn't nor will ever be the same. The world will never turn the same. The air after it rains will never be as refreshing as before.

Love won't be the same.

At least to me it won't.

_**8:36**_

It's time. Time for what always happens. Every night. Every night since it happened. Every night since I found out about her.

I rose from my position on the couch slowly. Carly, who was sitting next to me, pulled the covers closer to her, letting her eyes dart everywhere but to me and the TV screen.

"Bye Carly, I gotta go," I told Carly as I grabbed my jacket off of the chair, heading toward the door.

"Going to see Sam?" she asked. I turned around, and leaned against the door. Carly was looking at her fingers as she fiddled with them. She turned her gaze at me; I looked off into space and just nodded my head simply. Carly sighed heavily out of depression.

"I swear, you are taking all of this better than everybody else; and you were…" Carly started weakly, trying not to cry for the hundredth time since it happened.

"I know," I cut her off, not needing her to finish. I looked down at my black converse, holding back the tears that threatened to escape.

"And she was…" Carly started but I cut her off again.

"Don't talk about it, please," I requested urgently. The topic was something we really didn't want or need to talk about. Ever. It's one of those topics you think about. Nothing more than think. You think and think about it until you find that you're crying yourself asleep.

"Sorry," she apologized looking hurt.

That's how we've all been since it happened: hurt. Hurt that slowly killed us all every day. The kind of hurt that you try to push away. But when you do it bounces back and hits you harder than you think it ever could. You can push it aside but it can never be ignored. Not fully anyway. Hurt from losing her, but she wasn't even gone. Part of her was here with us, but part of her was gone. Lost in the wind never to be found.

"It's ok," I told her while opening the door. "See you later."

"Bye," she whispered wrapping the blanket tightly around her, innocently, as if it was protecting her. Because Sam couldn't protect her, at least, not anymore. I walked out the door and took the stairs. I always took the stairs so I could absorb the silence.

I walked out of Bushwell and didn't acknowledge the few people on the streets. I didn't acknowledge much about life anymore. Because everything about my life changed. Every detail; every second I breathe, every step I take, every moment I'm not with her.

Every tear I shed for her.

Even though she exists in my world, she's different. Different by a long shot. I mean, she's the same old Sam I know and love but she wasn't as adventurous, courageous, bubbly. She isn't Sam.

She isn't the old Sam. But regardless if she's the old Sam or the way she is now she's still Sam.

I still love her.

I walked to the park and saw her swinging on the middle swing in the set. Her favorite. I don't know why and never asked. Sam liked to be a mystery. She doesn't like to be grounded, she likes to fly and be free. That's what I loved about her.

But like I said, she changed.

I sat on one of the swings next to her.

"Hey Freddork," she smiled contently like she did every night.

But I know it's an act because it's the same routine every night. She's ok with how she's living her life then she slowly unravels to the point where she can't take it anymore. She cracks and breaks down. My heart breaks every time I see her cry. I used to think seeing Sam cry would hurt me more than anything.

But I saw her die.

I watched her as she slowly left the world. As she left my world. But somehow she comes back every night…with her. I saw her take her last breaths and I couldn't do anything about it.

And that's true pain.

"Whatcha thinking about?" Sam asked, leaning back in her swing so it looked like she was lying down. I use to tell her not to do that, cause she would get hurt, but that doesn't matter, does it?

"I'm thinking about how weird it is to see my dead girlfriend at the park every night," I confessed.

"Don't forget about her," Sam said as she pointed to a tree. Sitting at the bottom it was a little baby on a picnic blanket playing with the grass and smiling widely. She had blonde hair and brown eyes. My brown eyes.

"I didn't forget about her," I said.

"I know you didn't," Sam told me. We both stood up and walked over to her.

"Alyse, baby, say hi," Sam smiled. Alyse stared at me with her big brown eyes and smiled even wider. Sam picked her up.

"She loves you," Sam said.

"I know," I answered, letting the tears fall.

"I wish you could hold me," Sam said.

"So do I," I whispered as I extended my arm out to Sam. She put hers out but my arm passed through hers as if it wasn't there.

Sam let her tears fall too.

"Life isn't fair," Sam told me.

"I know," I replied.

"But I guess that's ok cause I don't have a life anymore," she said.

"I know."

**This is very depressing isn't it? Sorry. Well, review!**

**LOVE ALWAYS,**

**-randomness**


	2. iDrew a Picture

_**My Random Seddie Oneshots**_

_Some are fluffy, some are sad, most are random; all are Seddie. ENJOY. Ratings vary_

**DISCLAIMER-I've tried but Dan REALLY likes owning iCarly.**

_Rated K+ for language_

**iDrew a Picture**

_Summary- What if, in iDate a Badboy, Sam didn't draw Freddie being eaten by a tiger? What if she drew something more romantic…perhaps more Seddie?_

**Freddie's POV**

I flipped through the _pages _of things Sam wanted me to add to her website. Neck Infection 2: A Whole New Level Of Gross, Goriest of Gore, Assassination in Action, it was all there. I flipped through what seemed like a million pages when I saw a picture. I looked at it closely.

It was a guy and a girl kissing. I guessed the girl was Sam, since the hair was blonde, her eyes were blue, and it was in her notepad. I didn't know who the guy was, his eyes were closed and he had brown hair; that could be just about anyone. I looked closer, at all of the details. I noticed it was dark outside and they were…on a fire escape? What? There's no way that's-no it can't be…

Is that me?

No. I looked at it again and saw that the guy was wearing exactly what I wore that night and the girl was wearing exactly what Sam was wearing that night too. I noticed a _P-home-_that looked exactly like mine-and words came out of it. They said_ 'I keep running away, even from the good things.' _

No way, that was…us.

She remembers it like I do?

"What're you doing nub?" Sam asked, still sipping her smoothie. I admired he small smile as she sipped at the Blueberry Blitz. Wait…

"That's mine!" I yelled, grabbing the smoothie from her. She was biting the straw so I got the smoothie, but the straw hung from her mouth.

"I was drinking that!" she complained.

"I was drinking it first!" I defended. She just shrugged it off and called T-Bo over to give her another smoothie, with my money of course.

"So are we good?"" Sam asked.

"Yeah, I'll go home and do that," I said. I wasn't really happy about all of the work, but I was anxious to get home.

"See ya!" Sam called.

I walked out the door and all the way home. When I reached my apartment I went to my room, closed the door, and locked it. I opened the notepad and tore out the page with the picture carefully. I then opened my scrapbook, full of random pictures I collected throughout the years and taped it to the back cover.

I then got out a sharpie and labeled it:

_**First true love**_

****

**LOL I thought that was cute, but you might have a different opinion, I hope not though. Remember to review, if you want a specific type of story tell me I'll do it. (No lemons PLEASE) **

**LOVE ALWAYS,**

**-randomness**


	3. And We Never Tell Anyone

_**My Random Seddie Oneshots**_

_Some are fluffy, some are sad, most are random; all are Seddie. ENJOY. Ratings vary_

**Disclaimer-I swear I'll tell you if I ever own iCarly, but for now, I'm just a 12 year old girl with hopes and dreams, one being to own iCarly.**

_Rated K_

**And We'll Never Tell Anyone**

_I know just about everyone has done this but I wanted to do it too. This is the emotions/thoughts that went through Sam and _Freddie's_ head during the kiss._

**Freddie's POV**

"So you weren't lying? You really never kissed anyone?" I asked, dumbfounded. I couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that Sam had never kissed anyone. I mean she's…Sam. I don't know, I guess I can see it. She's just so fun to ba around, always full of energy and life, and she's pretty cool.

And she's kinda…you know, beautiful.

Oh my God, I didn't just say that! Stupid hormones!

"Nope," she shrugged. "Sometimes I wish I could get it out of the way."

"Yeah, I know me too," I agreed with her, probably for the first time ever.

"Right? You know, just so I can stop worrying about it," she said. Silence filled the air and only one thought crossed my mind.

We should kiss.

I mean it really wasn't that bad of an idea, neither Sam nor I have had our first kiss, we were both here, why not just do it? You know, get it out of the way entirely.

I couldn't help but let a small laugh escape my mouth.

"What?" Sam asked, letting her curiosity get the best of her.

"Nothing it's stupid," I tried to tell her but she wouldn't have it. Now she had to know.

"Tell me!" she pushed on. Might as well, right? The worst she could do is kill me, right? But the best she could do is kiss me.

I'll take my chances.

Ugh, there it is again! No I won't take my chances, I actually like life!

"No, it's dumb," I tried to convince her but she wouldn't give up.

"Say it!" she pushed.

"Ok, I was just going to say…" I started but Sam decided to guess.

"That we should kiss?" she smirked, knowing she was right.

"You're going to break my arm now right?" I asked. Breaking my arm would be a fortunate gesture considering I just suggested we kiss.

"No," she answered.

Excuse me? My stupid teenage boy hormones told me I wanted to kiss her.

And of course I listened to them.

"Well, should we? Just so both of us can get it over with?" I asked, kinda-sorta wanting to. Maybe.

Sam barley thought about it before scooting closer to me. "Just to get it over with," she stated.

"Just to get it over with," I repeated, scooting closer.

"And you swear we go right back to hating each other as soon as it's over?" she asked.

Well… depends on her definition of hate.

Would the hormones shut up!

"Yeah, totally. And we never tell anyone," I negotiated.

"Never," she agreed. Brown met blue and I was suddenly hypnotized by her eyes.

She looked away and said, "Well lean." And I did. Our lips met and fireworks exploded in my head. I'm not sure if she felt them but I did.

Wow, I sound like such a girl.

She pulled away, biting her lip.

"Well that was…"

"Nice."

"Yeah, nice."

"Well, see you later."

Sam started walking out when a previous thought returned to my head.

Depends on what your definition of hate is.

"Hey," I called. She turned around to look at me.

"I hate you," I smirked. I smile crept onto her face, knowing what I meant.

"I hate you to," she smiled before leaving.

We love each other, but no one knows.

Not even us.

**('Not even us', please don't mock. I know he obviously knows, it's just one of those cheesy moments, so just deal with it PLEASE! Here's the entire thing, just in Sam's POV)**

**Sam's POV**

"So you weren't lying? You really never kissed anyone?" Freddie asked. Might as well tell him it wasn't a lie…right?

"Nope," I shrugged. "Sometimes I wish I could get it out of the way." I smiled at him, admiring his brown eyes. I loved having an actual conversation with him without arguing.

"Yeah, I know me too," he agreed with me. "Right? You know, just so I can stop worrying about it," I said. For some reason I thought about us kissing. I felt a blush creep up on my cheeks on the thought.

He laughed. Why is he laughing?

"What?" I asked, letting my curiosity rule.

"Nothing it's stupid," He tried to push off the subject, but I wouldn't have it.

"Tell me!" I smiled, enjoying the playful argument we were having.

"No, it's dumb," He smiled, looking down at the ground.

"Say it!" I pushed on even more.

"Ok, I was just going to say…" he started but I decided to guess.

"That we should kiss?" I guessed my earlier thoughts.

"You're going to break my arm now right?" He asked, confessing that he thought what I guessed.

"No," I told him.

"Well, should we? Just so both of us can get it over with?" he asked, a little eagerness in his voice.

"Just to get it over with," I stated scooting closer to him.

"Just to get it over with," he repeated scooting closer too.

"And you swear we go right back to hating each other as soon as it's over?" I compromised. Did I just say that? As if things would go back to normal.

"Yeah, totally. And we never tell anyone," he agreed. He wanted things to stay the same? Wait, why do I care? I shouldn't.

"Never." His brown eyes met my blue ones. We were hypnotized in each other's eyes until I realized what was happening. I looked away and said, "Well lean." Our lips met and fireworks exploded in my head. I'm not sure if he felt them but I did.

Wow, I sound like such a girl.

Well, I am one so that's ok…kinda. I pulled away after 8 seconds, because 8 is my favorite number. Freddie looked a little disappointed and so was I, but if this wasn't going to change anything I wanted to make the most out of it.

"Well that was…"

"Nice."

"Yeah, nice."

"Well, see you later."

"Hey," he called. I turned around and looked at him.

"I hate you," he smiled. I was taken aback but realized what he meant. I blushed a little but tried to hide it.

"I hate you to."

And with that I left the fire escape, so I could go squeal like a little girl.

Cause I just kissed Freddie Benson.

AH!

**That's all I got! CU L8r. :D**

**Remember to request a oneshot idea!**

**LOVE ALWAYS,**

**-randomness**


	4. Conflicting Emotions

_**My Random Seddie Oneshots**_

_Some are fluffy, some are sad, most are random; all are Seddie. ENJOY. Ratings vary_

**Disclaimer- Ha! No, I barely own this cookie I'm eating, how would I own iCarly?**

_Rated K_

**Conflicting Emotions**

_How did Freddie feel when Sam jumped on him in iGot a Hot Room?_

_***THIS IS A DRABBLE***_

**Freddie's POV**

"No Sam, no, no no!" I screamed but it was too late, the feisty blonde was already on top of me. Why does she do this? She just does things without thinking. It's very aggravating. Now she's on top of me and squishing my insides. _Ha, way to be dramatic. _

Her hair was in my face, I noticed that it smelled like paint-no duh, we've been painting all day. I noticed for the first time all day that even covered in paint, wood shavings, and various other things-desperately needing a shower-Sam still pulled of looking beautiful.

Did I just say she looked beautiful?

There's no way. Well she is…

Wait; she's still on top of me!

"Sam, get off," I complained.

"I don't wanna," she argued. She doesn't wanna? Are you kidding? I tried to get her off of me but she ended up rolling closer to me, where our faces were only inches apart. My brown eyes met her blue ones. For some weird reason I wanted to kiss her, really bad and she looked like she wanted to kiss me. I restricted myself though and moved away from her. She looked barely disappointed but I didn't think much of it.

"Sam, get off," Gibby said, extending his arm out to help Sam up. Sam slapped Gibby's hand away, getting off the bed by herself.

**Review! **

**LOVE ALWAYS,**

**-randomness **


	5. January 15

_**My Random Seddie Oneshots**_

_Some are fluffy, some are sad, most are random; all are Seddie. ENJOY. Ratings vary_  
**ylraCi nwo t'nod I-remialcsiD**

_Rated T_

**January 15**

January 15, 1998, the day I met you. You had a crush on me, but I ignored it. I thought it was cute. We were 3. We were playing on the swings. You told me your name and I told you mine. Just like every pre-schooler in this situation we automatically became friends.

Flash forward: two years later-exactly-January 15, 2000. My dad left me and Melanie and my mom. I punched you that day. You cried and I didn't care, I laughed. My mom started drinking and smoking that day. And we went our separate ways.

The next year, January 15, 2001. I met a girl named Carly Shay. I liked her, but you were in love with her. And I was jealous. But I didn't show it. I just kept my tough girl act up. Because you weren't my best friend anymore-she was.

Now it's 8 years later, January 15, 2009. We're 14. You kissed me. It was our first kiss, both of us. I felt fireworks, but I wasn't going to tell you that. I wasn't going to tell anyone.

January 15, 2010. You pushed Carly out of the way of a Taco Truck. You started dating her. And it was killing me inside.

January 15, 2011. You asked me out, I said yes. You kissed me, and I felt the fireworks again. But I still didn't tell you.

This was the day-January 15, 2012- I told you I loved you, for the first time ever.

January 15, 2013. I lost my virginity to you. But I didn't see that as a problem- Carly did. She yells and screams and cries. She moves away, to live with her dad for a while. Because she still loves you.

January 15, 2014. Carly came back. She's the same, but we aren't. We all yell and scream at each other but end up crying with each other and holding each other and apologizing. She moved back with Spencer and moved on-she doesn't love you anymore.

January 15, 2015. We got into a fight. Like, a real one. We screamed at each other and I told you I didn't love you. You stopped yelling and so did I. Because that wasn't true. I love you; and I always will. We apologized and forgot why we were yelling in the first place. I still don't even remember.

January 15. 2016. You proposed. I said yes. Carly and I laughed and cried and admired the ring you gave me.

The best day of a woman's life-January 15, 2019-our wedding day. It was beautiful and perfect. I wore t-shirt and jeans and so did you. Carly wasn't happy about that but we were. And that's all that mattered.

Then it came. The dreaded day I'll never forget. January 15, 2021-the day you left. You got drafted into war. I didn't want you to, but you had to go. And you did.

January 15, 2022. The day you were supposed to come back. You didn't. Your plane home crashed, and you were in it. This was the day you left the world forever. The day you left me forever.

Now it's January 15, 2023-Present day. I can't take it. Life without you is killing me slowly. But I don't wanna die slowly. So I'm here, at your grave, with a gun. I shoot myself. And now I'm gone.

Just like you, on this January 15.

January 15, our day.

**Sorry, I'm really depressed. So I wrote this to express my depression. Sorry if you hate it. Glad you like it. Please review, it might help my depression.**

**Maybe.**

**LOVE ALWAYS (even when I'm depressed),**

**-randomness**


	6. No One Was Supposed To Be Watching

_**My Random Seddie Oneshots**_

_Some are fluffy, some are sad, most are random; all are Seddie. ENJOY. Ratings vary_

**DIsClAiMeR- tHiS iS a DiScLaImEr YoU kNoW wHaT tHaT mEaNs**

_Rated K_

**No One Was Supposed To Be Watching**

**Freddie's POV**

I slowly opened my eyes and found myself in the iCarly studio. I looked up and saw Carly, Gibby, Wendy and Griffin. Why are we here again?

I looked around me and saw all of the things in the studio knocked over, torn up, or cluttering the room.

Oh yeah, the party.

I looked at the sleeping bodies; Carly-whose hair lay messily in every direction-was snuggled up against Gibby, who was snoring. Wendy was lying at least ten feet away from the rest of us and had her cell phone in her hand. Griffin was also snoring.

I rolled over, to where Sam was previously sleeping but didn't see her.

Where'd she go?

I sat up and rubbed my eyes. I scanned the room for Sam but she was nowhere in sight.

I got up and went down the stairs quietly, just in case Sam wanted a midnight snack, didn't feel like going back upstairs and just fell asleep on the couch. I walked halfway down the stairs when I heard Sam singing.

_Cause when I'm kissin you my senses come alive  
Almost like the puzzle piece I've been trying to find  
Falls right into place you're all that it takes  
My doubts fade away when I'm kissing you_

I smiled and finished the walk down the stairs. I looked in the kitchen and saw Sam singing into a spatula, dancing around because she thought no one was looking. Her blonde hair bounced up and down as she bobbed her head and moved her body to the music. Her tank top had a little bit of batter on it but she didn't seem to notice. She just kept on dancing because no one was supposed to be watching.

The timer on the oven, indicating her muffins were done cooking, went off. She jumped, then realized it was just the timer and took her muffins out of the ovens. She attempted to eat one after she set the tray down but realized they were hot.

"Those are burning!" she said.

She shrugged and went back to her singing and dancing; now singing a different song.

_Somebody call 911!  
Shawty fire burning on the dance floor, whoa!_

I laughed silently at her. I sat on the stairs, far enough up them so she couldn't see me and listened to Sam sing.

Because no one was supposed to be watching.

**IDK where this came from. Just feeling random. Sorry it's drabblish. **

**GUESS WHAT HAPPENED! ****Someone hacked into my account and deleted some stories! Who does that? If you don't like 'em just tell me! No need to hack my account and delete them! I don't have the files, they were lost, so the stories are lost forever! I lost 6 stories! I'm so mad! Go back up your stories because someone might try to hack your account and delete stories too! Just a heads up.**

**Please review! I need the support! I just got 6 stories deleted! And I was feeling better, just to come home and find that 6 stories were just gone! **

**Sorry, had some spazzes there, I'm just kinda mad and sad.**

**LOVE ALWAYS,**

**-randomness**


	7. The Funny Thing Is

_**My Random Seddie Oneshots**_

_Some are fluffy, some are sad, most are random; all are Seddie. ENJOY. Ratings vary_  
**This is a disclaimer; we all know what that means.**

_Rated T (for language)_

**The Funny Thing Is**

**Sam's POV**

My eyes were getting heavy as I started at the TV screen. Freddie and I were watching a _Girly Cow_ rerun. A rerun we've seen at _least _a jillion times. Carly and Spencer were at the store; Spencer wasn't allowed to go to the store alone after he spent $100 on a bunch of containers of _Oystamato _juice. No one even likes _Oystamato_ so we just gave it to some hobo.

I looked at Freddie and saw he was in the same condition I was: tired and bored beyond belief.

"Can you hand me the remote?" Freddie asked of me.

"I could…." I said. "But I don't think I will."

"Stop being lazy and hand it to me," Freddie argued.

I was not in the mood for his comments so I said, "If I'm so lazy and you aren't just stand and get the remote yourself."

"No, it's right next to you," he told me. "Just hand it over." He obviously wasn't in the mood to get up either.

"No, stop being a nub and reach over to grab the stupid remote!" I groaned.

"It's right next to you stop being such a bitch and grab it!" he snapped.

"Don't call me a bitch you retard!" I yelled.

"I'll call you whatever I want to!" he argued.

I stood up and said, "No you won't, bastard!"

"Yes I will!" he said, getting up.

"Nub!"

"Demon!"

"Tech geek!"

"Soulless creature!"

"I very well have a soul!" I argued.

"Doubt it," he mumbled.

"I do!" I yelled. "I have emotions too!"

"Yeah right!" he snapped.

"I do!"

"Not!

"Do"

"Not!

"Do!" I yelled, stepping forward. I tripped on the rug and knocked Freddie down as I was falling. Our lips crashed onto each others. I was in shock so I didn't pull away.

But then again, I really didn't want to.

For some reason he responded and our lips moved in synch. I moved to a more comfortable position, straddling him, but our lips never missed a beat.

Once I realized what we were doing I jumped off of him. I stood up while Freddie was still on the ground. He sat up but didn't stand.

"I… uh… sorry," I stuttered.

"Uh, yeah, it's ok," he blushed, rubbing the back of his neck.

"No!" someone screamed behind us. I turned and saw Carly and Spencer in the doorway.

"That will be $20 Miss Shay," Spencer smirked.

"No fair!" Carly pouted, pulling out a 20. "You guys couldn't wait three more days?"

"For what?" I asked.

"To kiss!" she said. "I bet Spencer you wouldn't kiss for a month! I had two days before the end of the month! I need to take a shower."

"I'm going to go to the junkyard," Spencer said, closing the door behind him.

We were left in silence until Freddie asked, "Wanna know the best part of all that?"

"What?" I asked.

"I don't even remember what we were fighting about in the first place," he answered. He then stood up and left the apartment.

Wanna know what the funny thing is?

I don't remember either.

**This is really just a pointless one shot. But, that's what this little collection is for so I guess that's ok.**

**Please review!**

**LOVE ALWAYS,**

**-randomness **


	8. POS

_**My Random Seddie Oneshots**_

_Some are fluffy, some are sad, most are random; all are Seddie. ENJOY. Ratings vary_  
**Disclaimer-Need I go on?**

_Rated K_

**P.O.S.**

They were 5.

It's a beautiful day. Beautiful blue sky, white puffy clouds, and perfect weather to go along with it. They were playing in the park. And they were having a good time too.

She was sitting alone on a swing, so he did what the gentleman he was becoming would do. He, finally, got away from his mother and walked over to her. He put his best smile on and stood up straight.

Then he introduced himself.

She looked confused at first, like she expected no one to even get even as close as 5 feet to her.

Then she did the most unexpected thing he could imagine.

She smiled and introduced herself.

He sat on the swing next to her. But they got bored.

So they played tag and hide-and-go-seek with the other children.

When some kid kicked sand in his eye others did it too, but she helped him wash the sand out.

When she fell while they were playing tag other kids laughed, but he helped her up.

She gave him a kiss on the cheek for that.

But then she found a marker.

That marker started it all. That stupid purple marker. If she hadn't found that marker his life wouldn't have been the same.

But she found that marker.

And she wrote something, with that marker, on his hand:

P.O.S.

He didn't know what it meant. But he was 5, so he didn't even care.

He just shrugged and went back to playing tag.

* * *

8 years later, each 13. People pick on him. They call him a nerd and a nub and all of those things. She knows it's true but she does something he never expected of her.

She makes them back off.

But he just assumes that's because 'she's her bully' or 'he's her nub'.

But when he comes to school one day he sees something spray painted on his locker.

It was in purple spray paint. Purple, just like the marker.

The thing graffitied on his locker was very simple:

P.O.S.

He remembered that time when he was 5. He didn't know what it meant.

But he knew she did it.

* * *

Now they're 14. They just had their first kiss.

Their first kiss-and they shared it with each other.

He walks back in his room, tired and, quite frankly, confused. His eyes are heavy and just before he plops on his bed to enjoy some sweet dreams, he notices a note on his pillow.

It's a piece of notebook paper. Just a corner. He sees the other part of the paper on his desk.

Right next to a purple pen.

He looks at the note and reads it.

P.O.S.

That's all it said, and it was in purple.

Even then he didn't know what it meant.

* * *

17 years old now. They've dated a year.

One year anniversary.

Guess what she got him.

A t-shirt with, you guessed it, P.O.S. printed on it.

It was printed in white.

But the shirt was purple.

Still, he was oblivious to what it meant.

* * *

They're 21 years old. They got drunk. Somewhere along their drunken way he got a tattoo on his arm. Not very big, not big at all.

Wanna guess what it said?

P.O.S.

The P was red the O was purple and the S was blue.

Now he really wanted to figure out what it meant.

* * *

You are probably dying to know what P.O.S. stands for.

So is he.

He doesn't know what to do. He tried to put the pieces together but they didn't fit.

He had no clue what it meant.

You know what he does?

He asks.

He asks what P.O.S. stands for.

She answers, "Property of Sam."

P.O.S.

Property of Sam.

Freddie Benson is property of Sam.

And he always will be.

**This is honestly the most pointless thing I've ever written.**

**But I hoped you liked it anyway.**

**Please review.**

**LOVE ALWAYS,**

**-randomness**


	9. Ice Cream

_**My Random Seddie Oneshots**_

_Some are fluffy, some are sad, most are random; all are Seddie. ENJOY. Ratings vary_

**Disclaimer-I don't not not own iCarly :D**

_Rated K_

**Ice Cream**

_A/N if you don't know what a guillotine is it's one of those things used in way back when to chop people's heads off._

**Freddie's POV**

"No, swiss army knives are so better than guillotines," Sam argued. We were walking back to Bushwell together, from school, because Carly had a dentist appointment.

"But, with guillotines it just chops your head right off…" I started but Sam interrupted me.

"Yeah but with swiss army knives you can show off your mad knife using skills," she told me while using her hands to motion stabbing.

How did we even get on this topic?

I looked over at Sam and saw her eyes light up. I followed her gaze and saw an ice cream cart.

Of course that's what she's excited about.

"Ooh, Freddie, buy me ice cream!" Sam said; pure awe in her tone. She sounded like ice cream was the best thing that was ever created.

But to her it probably was.

"Why?" I laughed at her childishness.

"Because it's ice cream!" she smiled, dragging me toward the ice cream cart.

"As if I have a choice," I said, digging my hand in my pocket, looking for my wallet. "You'll probably just…" I cut myself off when I realized I didn't have my wallet. I looked up and Sam started waving my wallet in my face.

"Steal my wallet," I finished my previous sentence.

"To slow," she shrugged. She turned toward the ice cream cart and ordered chocolate.

"…and get the nub a vanilla cause he's a dork like that," she said after ordering her own ice cream. "I mean who gets vanilla? It's so… vanillayish."

"Vanillayish?" I asked.

"Vanillayish," she repeated.

I just rolled my eyes and paid. The guy handed us our ice cream and we started walking to Bushwell.

"But swiss army knives are still better," Sam told me. "Because you can just…" she then acted like she was going to stab me in the chest, using her fist as the knife, but forgot the ice cream was in her hand. Now her ice cream was smeared on my shirt. We stopped walking.

"Aw, my ice cream," Sam complained.

"Dude! That was my new shirt!" I yelled. "Now it's all stained with Sam-licked ice cream!"

"Oh, get over it!" she snapped. I don't know what came over me but I did something that, looking back, I realize could've killed me.

I took my ice cream and crashed it on her chest.

"Ahh!" she screamed. She looked from me, to her chest, then back at me. She let an evil glare replace her initial face of shock. Then she put her game face on and I have to admit, I was kinda scared. She took some of the ice cream off her chest and threw it at me. It landed on my face.

I looked at her with awe, not believing she just did that.

She just smirked and taunted, "Whatcha going to do about that? Probably nothing, you are a nub after all."

Now it's on.

I took the remains of my ice cream cone and dumped the rest of it on her head.

"Dude!" she cried. I barely paid attention to the many people surrounding us, enjoying the little fight we were having.

A group of teenagers were the ones who seemed to be having the most fun. They were jumping up and down smiling.

Half of this group, all girls, were rooting for me, cupping their hands around their mouth yelling, "Go brunette!"

The other, all guys, were rooting for Sam. They were yelling things like, 'Go blondie!' and 'You show him!'

There were only a few who didn't even look at us twice, just walking by like we were part of the sidewalk.

Someone caught Sam's attention. I looked to see why and saw that they were holding an ice cream cone.

Uh oh.

Sam stole the ice cream cone from the guy and smashed it on my head.

"Dude!" I yelled.

"Don't 'dude' me!" she screamed. "You started it!"

"Did not!" I argued.

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did!"

"Not!"

"Did!"

"Not!" I yelled back.

Sam pounced on me and we started wrestling on the ground. I was on top of her; she was on top of me. She slapped me; I pulled her hair-the usual. But somewhere along the way our lips met.

So now we're making out in the middle of the busy streets of Seattle.

**Carly's POV**

"Making my special lemonade. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh!" I sang to the rhythm of the blues. "But no one likes it. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh! But that's ok because I know it's delicious…" I was cut off by the door bell.

"Carly, can you get that?" Spencer called from his room.

"Why?" I asked.

"Cause I'm… uh… well… just get the door!" he called.

"Kay!" I agreed. I opened the door to a cop and… Sam and Freddie? And are they covered in ice cream?

"Do these two belong to you?" he asked.

"Sadly, yes," I sighed. "Come in."

They walked in and I closed the door.

"What'd they do this time?" I asked.

"Seems like you're used to this," the cop said.

"So, so used to it," I sighed, I leaned in to read his nametag thing that cops wear. "Officer…"

"DH Da Fizzle," he told me.

"Yeah whatever; just tell me what they did so I can get back to my lemonade," I said.

"Lemonade! Can I have some?" he asked.

"Yes, you can!" I smiled. I walked into the kitchen and got officer… uh… DH Da Fizzle a cup of lemonade.

"Here you go," I said, giving him the lemonade.

He took a sip and yelled, "What is this? Are you trying to poison me? I gotta go scrub this out!" And with that he ran out.

"Am I the ONLY one with normal taste buds?" I asked but quickly added. "Don't answer that."

I looked at Sam and Freddie and saw they were holding hands.

"What'd you guys do?" I asked.

They looked at each other then back at me.

"Ice cream," they said in unison.

**REVIEW. You don't HAVE to but I really WANT you to. FLAME if you WANT. But I would PREFER you DIDN'T.**

**LOVE ALWAYS,**

**-randomness**


	10. A Note To Him

_**My Random Seddie Oneshots**_

_Some are fluffy, some are sad, __**most are random; all are**__ Seddie. ENJOY. Ratings vary_

**Disclaimer- Dan REALLY likes all of the money he's getting from iCarly, so he doesn't plan on giving it to anyone, including me. I know, it's so sad.**

_Rated K+_

**A Note To Him**

_Dear you; and you know who you are,_

_I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm not perfect. Perfect like Carly. Because you always loved her. And I understand why. She's perfect. Her hair, her smile, her attitude, her personality. _

_Her body. And we all know that's the only thing you were looking at._

_But you deserve her; you deserve perfection. Because you're everything a girl could ever wish for. Probably more. _

_I'm sorry I'm not beautiful. Or, at least, beautiful enough for you. But Carly is. And that's okay, because we weren't meant to be. And I can live with that._

_I'm sorry I never noticed that you always stared at her while we were doing iCarly. Not me, your girlfriend, her, my best friend._

_I'm sorry you realized you actually loved Carly after I fell in love with you. After I'd given my heart to you._

_And I thought you'd given me yours. But you didn't. You were saving it._

_Saving it for her._

_I'm sorry you dumped me and thought she'd date you._

_But she didn't. She honored the girl code. Because she's my best friend. You should've known better._

_But you didn't._

_Because I fell for you and I thought you caught me. But you just let me fall, all the way till I hit the ground and broke._

_I'm sorry that I cried over you for weeks. But Freddie held me when I cried over you. He was there for me when my heart was still broken because of you. And you know what?_

_He picked up the pieces._

_And to thank him I gave my heart to him._

_And he gave me his._

_I'm sorry it took me all of that heartbreak to realize that I loved Freddie._

_But you know what?_

_It was worth it._

**Ok, another pointless oneshot/drabble. Oh well, review please!**

**IDK who she was writing to; use your imagination! =P**

**LOVE ALWAYS,**

**-randomness**


	11. A Note To Her

_**My Random Seddie Oneshots**_

_Some are fluffy, some are sad, __**most are random; all are**__ Seddie. ENJOY. Ratings vary_

**Disclaimer-I disclaim, so now you can't sue me. HA**

_Rated K+_

**A Note To Her**

_This accompanies the previous chapter, A Note To Him. Thank you hartful13 for the idea._

_To her, _

_I'm sorry. I'm sorry I made you happy then let you fall. I'm sorry you actually loved me. I'm sorry that you probably won't accept my apology. _

_I'm sorry you're wrong._

_I don't deserve perfection. You do. And only you. Because you ARE perfection. I'm sorry I didn't notice you were perfection until I realized I lost you._

_I'm sorry you think that I don't know you're beautiful, because you are. Inside and out. But I didn't notice until I lost you. Because until I lost you I thought Carly was everything I could ever dream of._

_When in reality it was you._

_I'm sorry I broke your heart. It wasn't fair to you. _

_I'm sorry you didn't realize that I was just some guy and cried over me. I'm not perfect, therefore I didn't deserve you. No one really deserves you. No one's perfect enough._

_But thank Freddie. Thank him for picking up the pieces and giving his heart to you. Because you gave your heart to him._

_But he always had it._

_I never had your heart. Not even for a split second. Because he was holding on to it until you realized that he had it. Because it belonged to him. _

_You belonged to him._

_I'm sorry I had to break your heart to show you that._

_I'm glad it was worth it._

_But it's just too bittersweet. You have him and I'm alone. You can't even look at me without seeing the guy who let you fall for him. _

_I wish you'd see the guy who led you to true love. Because that's what you deserved. And when I realized that I wasn't your true love I dumped you._

_I'm sorry that you've probably stopped reading this._

_Because you don't care about me._

_You care about him._

_You always did._

**Hope you enjoyed it. The guy is still a mystery. So you decide who it is. :D**

**R**

**E**

**V**

**I**

**E**

**W**

**LOVE ALWAYS,**

**-randomness**


	12. Therapy Box

_**My Random Seddie Oneshots**_

_Some are fluffy, some are sad, __**most are random; all are**__ Seddie. ENJOY. Ratings vary_

**Disclaimer-Dan can't sue me. Why? Because I disclaim iCarly!**

_Rated T_

**Therapy Box**

_Summary-Sam and Freddie are dating, but are in ANOTHER fight. So what does Carly do? She brings them to Dr. Pschneider (The therapist that helped Sam and her mom.) And the therapy box returns._

**Carly's POV**

"What is wrong with you?" Sam asked.

"Well, right now, you're my problem," Freddie answered.

"Oh look, I'm Fredweird Benson," she mocked. "Sam Puckett's my problem and I like saying 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!"

"You don't say the one!" he corrected.

"Wait; let me get this straight, they're _dating_?" Dr. Pschnider asked.

"Two years," I answered. He gave me a look and I added, "Yeah, I don't believe it either."

We directed our attention back to the bickering couple.

"Who cares about your laptop? That was three days ago, let it go!" Sam yelled.

"You refuse to buy me a new one!" Freddie said.

"I know that!" she replied.

"Stop!" I yelled. They both stopped yelling and stared at me. I took the opportunity to run but heard them continuing to fight as soon as I closed the door.

* * *

"Dr. Pschnider?" I called from outside the door.

"Come in!" he called. I entered the room and saw Sam and Freddie on the monitor for the therapy box.

"But you're _wrong_!" Freddie yelled.

"No, I'm not wrong, you're wrong," Sam argued.

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"They've been doing that the entire time?" I asked.

"All 9 hours 43 minutes and…" he started but paused, looking at his watch. "56 seconds."

"Am not!"

"Am too!"

"9 hours 44 minutes and 3 seconds," Dr. Pschnider sighed. "4, 5, 6, 7. I'm so glad you're paying me by the hour. 10, 11, 12, 13…"

"Let me in," I said, letting my anger at the two get the best of me. He unlocked the door and let me inside.

"Stop acting like children!" I yelled.

"No!" they said in unison.

"Yes!" I yelled. We heard the door lock.

"Oh my god," I said. "Just like last time."

"Cake is better than pie!" Sam argued.

"No, pie is like liquid cake and is_ better_," Freddie said.

"No, cake is better than pie," I shrugged.

"Ha! I was right!" Sam smirked.

"Are not!"

"Am too!"

"Are not!"

"Am too!"

They act like they're 5. They went on like this forever, until they got to the subject of mothers.

"Well, at least my mom's not a psychomaniac!" Sam said.

"At least my mom doesn't get stuck in a therapy box for 9 hours because she can't get along with her child!" Freddie spat.

Apparently they don't realize they've been doing this for over 10 hours.

"Nyeeh! Nyeeh! Nyeeh!" I said.

Crap.

"Carly, not again," Sam said, kneeling next to me.

"Make up, Nyeeh," I said. "I need to get out of here!" I got on my hands and knees and crawled around.

"I'm not apologizing!" Sam said.

"Do it!" I hissed. "Nyeeh."

"I'm sorry," Sam mumbled.

"What was that?" Freddie smirked. Ugh, I don't have time for the fight that'll erupt from this.

"You know what she said!" I yelled. "But repeat it anyway."

"What wa…" Freddie started.

"No, not you. She needs to repeat it, stupid," I hissed. "Nyeeh!"

"I'm sorry," she said, a little louder, rolling her eyes..

"So am I," Freddie smiled, giving her a hug.

I popped up and commented, "Now say you love each other and kiss!"

They both looked at me but as I was about to protest another Nyeeh escaped my mouth and I started crawling and freaking out again.

"Love you, Freddork," Sam smiled.

"Love you, Princess," Freddie said before kissing Sam.

"Now let us out!" I yelled. "Dr. Pschnider? Dr. Pschnider? Let me out!"

**I thought that was a fun place to end. There was another random oneshot made from my brilliant mind =P**

**Any who.**

**Thanks for all of the reviews so far! And don't forget to add to the little collection of reviews I have. All you have to do is push a button; it's like magic or something ;D**

**And you can request a oneshot for me to do if yo wanna!**

**LOVE ALWAYS,**

**-randomness**


	13. iDon't

_**My Random Seddie Oneshots**_

_Some are fluffy, some are sad, __**most are random; all are**__ Seddie. ENJOY. Ratings vary_

**Disclaimer-*Comment has been removed* Please see previous chapter.**

_Rated T_

**iDon't**

Lots of people ask me how I feel about them dating.

But I don't. I don't _feel_ anything. Or, I don't _want_ to feel anything. Anything like what I'm feeling.

I wanna be happy for them. I wanna smile when they're laughing and kissing.

But I don't.

It looks like I do. But that's just an act. It looks like I'm happy that they're together. It looks like I don't envy her.

But I do.

I wanna talk to her and ask her if he's a good kisser and a good boyfriend. And if he's everything and more that she ever wanted.

But I know he is.

I wanna ask him if he loves her with everything he has.

But I know he does.

I wanna feel like I'm okay with how life is with them together.

But I'm not.

I wanna be able to go to sleep without praying that them dating is just part of a crazy dream.

But it's not.

I wanna be able to go to sleep and not wake up in the middle of the night crying. Because I'm miserable. Because they're dating.

But I do.

And I feel like…this.

What I'm feeling is killing me, slowly and painfully. Every time I see them hold hands. Or when I see him look at her.

And I know that he can never look at me that way. Even if I want him to.

I wanna actually love my boyfriend. Think that he's the love of my life. Act like I'm happy with him.

But I'm not.

I wanna be able to kiss my boyfriend and feel like I'm flying. I wanna be able to say that I can't live without my boyfriend.

But I can.

I wish I could love someone other than my best friend's boyfriend.

But I don't.

I wish I had what Sam and Freddie have.

But I don't.

**Spelling lesson! What is this one shot?**

**P-O-I-N-T-L-E-S-S**

**But what should you do anyway?**

**R-E-V-I-E-W**

**Did you enjoy that lesson?**

**Good!**

**Do you L-O-V-E it? Or H-A-T-E it? **

**Did it S-U-P-R-I-S-E you? Or N-O-T?**

**Are you going to R-E-V-I-E-W? Or N-O-T?**

**LOVE ALWAYS,**

**-randomness**

**In my opinion you should review, but that's just me.**


	14. Eyes

_**My Random Seddie Oneshots**_

_Some are fluffy, some are sad, __**most are random; all are**__ Seddie. ENJOY. Ratings vary_

**Disclaimer-I disclaim.**

_Rated K_

**Eyes**

**Sam's POV**

They are beautiful; perfect without being too unique. I stare at them and forget where I am and what I'm doing. I just can't help but get lost in them. They are so wonderful and deep. They get me every time. Usually I only get a one second glimpse at them but I am getting the rare opportunity to just stare and get lost in them.

**Freddie's POV **

They are extraordinary. Divine, amazing, astonishing, and breathtaking. Usually I only have the opportunity to look at them for scattered seconds at a time. But now, now I am getting the amazing opportunity to just take in the beauty of them.

**Sam's POV **

They remind me of chocolate, but here's the thing; they are better. They are better than chocolate. They are better than food in general. Yes, I Samantha Puckett think SOMETHING is better than food. (If you call me Samantha you will regret it for the rest of your life-if you live through the torment I set upon you.)

**Freddie's POV**

They are like the ocean in two orbs. Two miraculous orbs. I don't understand how others can resist just staring at them forever. I could literally just look at them and stay that way, lost in them, forever.

**Sam's POV **

His eyes are one of the most outstanding things that I've ever seen.

But there's another thing I think is better than his eyes.

Him.

**Freddie's POV**

The only thing more beautiful than her eyes are her.

Her, Sam Puckett.

**Sam's POV**

Him, Freddie Benson.

**Seddie's POV **

And you know what?

I'm in love with the beholder of those wonderful eyes.

**Ok, some of you have read this before, because it's from my story Twists and Turns Of Life. But I got hacked AGAIN and the hacker deleted the story along with two others, because they suck like that. I decided to grant them the pleasure of not re-uploading the story in fear they'd try to hack me again. **

**IF YOU'RE READING THIS MYSTERY HACKER ****CUT IT OUT****! I DON'T ENJOY BEING HACKED!**

**Any who.**

**Review if you wanna. Don't review if you wanna. But I want you to review. I don't not want you to review, though.**

**LOVE ALWAYS**

**-randomnesss**


	15. 3 Dances 2 Kisses and a Moment

_**My Random Seddie Oneshots**_

_Some are fluffy, some are sad, __**most are random; all are**__ Seddie. ENJOY. Ratings vary_

**Disclaimer-Me? Wait, what do I say here? *Flips through script* Oh, whatever. I, Andrea, disclaim iCarly.**

_Rated K_

**3 Dances, 2 kisses, and a Moment**

Three dances, two kisses and a moment.

That's all it took for Freddie to realize.

Three dances, each with Carly. One was at the _Groovy Smoothies._ When he was holding her in his arms. He thought she was the love of his life.

When he wasn't lost in the moment. He saw Sam walk in. He saw her face drop, and he saw her walk out. He wanted to chase after her.

But he didn't.

The next was at Nora's birthday party. He got Nora off of her after a few songs and grabbed the next person in reach: Carly. She accepted, since she was dancing with a clown. They danced, but something was off. It didn't feel right. When Crabbs had a heart attack, he ran to his side. His hand gently touched Sam's.

There was a spark. He was going to figure out what it was. Why he felt it on her touch and not Carly's. He _was_ going to ask.

But he didn't.

The last dance was at the Spring Fling. Carly was sitting alone, and he offered to dance with her. The last was a test. A test to see if he really loved her.

She failed the test.

When he was dancing with Carly he did notice something: Sam was sitting alone too. He could've asked her instead.

But he didn't.

Two kisses. The two he received from one of his girlfriends, Stacy. She was nice. Pretty, caring, he usual. Each kiss was random. One after a first date, one in the hallway.

He broke up with her.

He noticed, when she gave the first kiss there was no spark. He thought he just missed it. When she kissed him in the hallway he saw that he didn't miss anything. Well, actually he did. He missed the spark. The spark he felt when he got his first kiss. From Sam. He wanted to feel the spark again. He wanted to _kiss her_ again.

But he didn't.

Well, he didn't at the time.

The moment. The powerful moment. She got hit by a car. She died. That changed him. Everyone noticed he didn't smile or laugh. Everyone saw something.

He didn't hate her. He loved her.

And those three dances and those three kisses were the things he regretted. He could've danced with Sam. He could've kissed Sam.

But he didn't.

And that kills him everyday.

**I have absolutely no clue where that came from. It started out, in my head, all of those dances and kisses were with Sam. I don't know when it turned into **_**that.**_

**But it did.**

**LOL Anyway. REVIEW!**

**Please?**

**I just realized this story is going to have about a billion chapters because I always come up with pointless oneshots that I just jot down and post. But that'll make you happy, so…**

**LOVE ALWAYS,**

**-randomness**


	16. iCan't Do This Anymore

My Random Seddie Oneshots

_Some are fluffy, some are sad, _most are random; all are_ Seddie. ENJOY. Ratings vary_

**Disclaimer-I disclaim! Now you can't sue me! XD**

_Rated T_

**I Can't Do This**

_Sam's various notes to Carly. All are notes._

**Sam's POV**

_I can't do this anymore..._

_I'm not sure why you decided to walk back into my life in March when you _obviously_ still do not want to work things out..._

_To tell you the truth, I'm not sure why you're still so upset at me. Why you still can't trust me. I feel like you must have it built up in your head that I did more to you than I actually did. Because in reality I didn't do anything to deserve all of this. I found out your boyfriend was going to strip clubs and I told you because I would have wanted to know if Freddie was going. That's it... a little FYI, nothing more._

_And two years later you're still upset... I don't get it... _

_You walked away from our friendship and shut me out over _that_? Then you try to find me and talk again and you say you want to work things out... then you say that you're not ready... then you say okay let's get together... then _nothing!

_And I've come to realize that you DO have time in your life for more than work and school because I know you still find time for Shane. On a regular basis. And I don't give a crap that it's SHANE you're spending time with... it just hurts when you constantly tell me you don't have time to get together. 'I'm so busy' 'maybe next week' The excuses are getting old. Especially when I hear you're finding time somewhere... for the ones in your life you do want to see and it helps me see that you must not want to see me or you would find the time for me._

_So who knows why you are mad at me because you don't want to talk about it but I'm telling you there's NOT much to say; We were friends... I told you something maybe I shouldn't have... and our friendship is over..._

_Please tell me what else I did because I really want to know. _

_Although, I'm not sure if it matters anymore, I'm really not sure if I can take this anymore._

_We always talk about getting back together and you always end up backing out at the last minute. Fool me once shame on you; fool me twice shame on me. And you have fooled me _way more_ than twice and I feel like an idiot believing __maybe this time you won't stand me up__. _

_But you always do and it hurts. _

_You always have an excuse why we can't get together and if you really wanted to you would have found time by now._

_I feel like I have apologized and tried my hardest to work this out and my hopes get built up and shot down time and time again and I'm done trying. If you really want to get together and if you really want me as a friend make it happen,_

_otherwise I will always believe I lost my best friend over one single statement._

_-Talk to me already, Sam_

* * *

_You believe whatever you want to believe._

_The truth is you always bail on me - Sorry I pissed you off by not believing you didn't have a few hours to meet with me when I know you got off at 8:00 - _

_I'm tired of that-I rearranged my schedule and found a babysitter just to see you - you did nothing!_

_You're pissed that I made up stuff; whatever. I'd love to know what lie I spoke-because I know I spoke no lies-but again, believe whatever you want to believe. _

_And I know you see Shane is because Gibby and Tasha see ya'll bowling-I'm not talking to people behind your back-GROW UP _

_I'm sorry it has to come to this-I'm sorry you don't believe me-I never made up stuff. And I'm sorry you don't have the common decency to stay in Freddie and Spencer's life as a friend and sister aside from our problems. You not only hurt me you hurt my friends and family. That's right _family_. Freddie and I are married and are expecting. Suck that._

_-Go to hell, Sam_

* * *

_I know I should probably just let this whole thing go but I have to write and apologize for being so cruel... I have strong feelings about our situation but there was no reason for me to be so harsh. I am not a mean spirited person toward you normally. And although my feeling needed to be expressed, I hate ending our friendship with so much hate._

_You have been a great friend to m, probably the best I've ever had so far in my life._

_When I weighed whether to tell you what I told you at iCarly's 1,000__th__ episode party I never thought it would come to this..._

_From that point we were never the same. And I'm not sure what was said between you and Shane after that. _

_Or why you accuse me of lying._

_Or why you believe I made up stuff and told you and made up stuff and told him because we stopped talking._

_And I know you must have been going through hell deciding who to believe and again I never knew _what _was said and _what_ you were deliberating. In my mind I only said one thing. _

_The truth is you WERE my best friend and I although I should have never been so involved in your relationship I know in my heart that I never lied. I never made stuff up. And I never had an evil plot to break the two of you up._

_I always pictured myself as Maid of Honor your wedding._

_With that being said, I accept your decision to end our friendship. There is a very tangled web that has been weaved and since you and Shane are still together and happy. there is no reason to untange or re-live that nightmare..._

_I just didn't want to end such a good friendship so maliciously..._

_if the old saying is true that time heals all wounds maybe __someday __our paths will cross again and our friendship can start anew._

_In case that day never comes: Good Luck with school and your career and I hope marry your greatest love and have beautiful children. Kiss your babies' heads for me when they are born like you would've done with all of my kids and know that there will always be a place for you in my heart. _

_Goodbye_

_xoxox – Sam, Freddie, and little baby Michelle. _

**I wrote this for my best friend who basically broke up with me.**

**No, the scenario wasn't like this exactly, obviously I didn't see my friend's boyfriend go to a strip club, but I had to make it more mature. Sorry if you don't like it, but I had to voice my emotions.**

**Sorry this isn't seddie either. This is just Sam voicing her thoughts and feelings in 3 letters.**

**And if you are reading this person who broke up with me as a best friend I mean the last line. Goodbye. I'm sorry but I can't take it. Talk to me or go away.**

**This is too much stress for a 12 year old!**

**Any who!**

**Review! Make my day :)**

**LOVE ALWAYS,**

**-randomness**


	17. Taco Trucks and True Feelings

_**My Random Seddie Oneshots**_

_Some are fluffy, some are sad, _most are random; all are_ Seddie. ENJOY. Ratings vary_

**Disclaimer-I disclaim! Technically I don't own the idea either; it's Ascended Ancient's idea.**

_Rated T_

**Taco Trucks and True Feelings**

_NOTE: Her is Sam. (You'll get it in a sec.)_

**Set During/After iSaved Your Life**

_You may read now..._

**No One's POV**

_Beep, Beep, Beep_

The heart monitor makes the same sound. The same sound it's made for weeks. _Weeks. _

It _taunts_ her. Taunts her constantly. It taunts her to explode. Taunts her to leave. Taunts her to lose hope.

But she can't do that. She won't allow herself to. Never.

But the heart monitor keeps beeping; _Beep, Beep, Beep._ And it starts to mocks her. It mocks her to tears. Cause the beep only tells her one thing:

It's not getting better.

But it isn't getting worse either. And that slice of hope keeps her going. Keeps her own heart pumping. And she needs her heart to pump, because her heart pumping keeps her hope and faith running. She needs her heart, even if it got her in this mess to begin with.

"_Hello, would you like me to brush your teeth? No? You don't like bunnies? Well bunnies don't like you either! Yeah, I went there!" Carly just flipped off a little girl. This dare is bringing out her mean. Maybe it's the bunny suit…_

"_Freddie? Can we go back now?" Carly asked._

"_Yeah, I gotta delete all the scenes where your mean was unleashed." Freddie knelt to one knee and started packing his camera in its case as Carly ran ahead._

_Here's the moment of truth. When she tells Freddie she likes him, loves him even._

'Deep breath… and go.'_ She tells herself._

"_Hey, Freddie?"_

"_Yeah, Sam." He looked up to me with a warm smile._

"_I was wondering…"_

"_Hold that thought Sam. Carly! Watch out!" he got up and ran, fast. The speed of light fast. His body collided with Carly's and knocked Carly out of the way. Into safety. _

_He wasn't so lucky._

_The rest was a blur to her. Sirens, hospital, doctors._

Beeps. The repetitive beep from that damn heart monitor.

She's been sitting in the same spot. Days on end, drowning in her own tears, giving up on staying strong and letting herself fall apart. The beeps were harmonizing with her foot tapping uneasily.

_Wake up._

The beeps weren't repetitive anymore. They stopped. The line went flat.

He was dead.

Doctors didn't rush in. They didn't care. They knew it would happen. Freddie didn't even have a chance in their minds. Freddie was just wasting a room to them.

She cried. Cried for plenty of reasons.

He was dead. She would never see his smile. The one that made her feel better. The one that was uneasy when he was thinking. The one that he got when he was happy.

Gone.

She'd never see his eyes that look so deeply into hers; that were so full of wisdom when he was telling her something. The ones that lit up when he smiled.

The ones that are closed on his dead body.

She'd never see his lips that she ever so dearly wanted to kiss. She just never got the chance.

She cried because she was alone. There was no one to cry with her. Everyone gave up. They all left her. They left _him_.

There was no one to hold her. No one to tell her it was going to be okay.

She cried because he'd never know. He never knew that she was in love with_ him_. Him and only him.

But she mostly cried because he died loving Carly.

Carly.

The last thing on his mind was not her, Sam. It was her best friend, Carly.

And that kills her every day.

**Very short little oneshot. Recommended by Ascended Ancient. Thank you guys for all the reviews. **

**111 Reviews!**

**WOOT! WOOT!**

**Review!**

**LOVE ALWAYS,**

**-randomness**


	18. Airplanes

_**My Random Seddie Oneshots**_

_Some are fluffy, some are sad, __**most are random; all are**__ Seddie. ENJOY. Ratings vary_

**Disclaimer-I don't own iCarly or Airplanes by B.O.B.**

_Rated K_

**Airplanes**

_Just a pointless one shot. Kinda fluffy. It's one of those 'epic' descriptive one-shots I write sometimes. Oh, this is BASED off of Airplanes by B.O.B. as in INSPIRED BY. _

**General POV**

10:30 p.m. He took her out for a picnic. He knew how to make even the simplest thing perfect. They sat on the picnic blanket, arms tangled together. She sat in between his legs, her back to his chest. Her arm lay lightly on his as he traced patterns in the sky. He was tracing various constellations. But there were no stars out. He just traced the constellations he knew by heart; Orion, Taurus, Scorpios, Canis Major. Every constellation he knew from his studying. The studying she didn't do.

Fireflies lit the sky. They were kind of like the stars. But it wasn't the same. You couldn't wish on fireflies. And she needed to make a wish.

"There's no stars out tonight," she said in a soft voice. She rarely spoke this way. She only did when they're alone on a night like this. She opens herself to him. A side no one has ever seen. No one except him.

An airplane flew by. And the boy smirked, "You know what?"

"What?" she smiled, curious to what he meant. Their hands never stopped moving in the constellation patterns he made. Slow and steady their arms moved. His carrying hers.

"Airplanes are just like stars."

"No, airplanes are like fireflies. They aren't like stars."

"No, airplanes are like stars. When you wish on an airplane all off the people on that plane are wishing for your wishes to come true, too. So airplanes are actually better than stars."

She didn't respond. She just let his hand lead hers, gradual and cautious.

"Are you going to make a wish?" He asked this and it sounded as if he said it right out of the blue. As if he just thought it up and said it.

"Yes." Her words lingered in the air as she wished.

"What did you wish for?"

She laughed at this. More of a giggle really. But she couldn't help it. It was funny. As if she'd tell him.

"I can't tell you. If I tell you it won't come true." She said it in such a 'duh' tone it would've hurt if he hadn't known she was just playing around.

"Yes it will."

"Stop acting like a know it all!"

They just laughed and dropped the subject as if it was never brought up.

10:40 p.m. Their hands still traced constellations in the sky, wishing on airplanes, safe in each others' arms.

**I promised a fluffy one to coketree20, so here it is. Hope you enjoyed it. Sorry about the shortness. Not even 500 words.**

***Sigh* Oh well.**

**R**

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**LOVE ALWAYS**

**-randomness**


	19. Another Seddie Story

**_My Random Seddie Oneshots_**

_Some are fluffy, some are sad, most are random; all are Seddie. ENJOY. Ratings vary_

**Disclaimer-Why would ibe on FF if i owned iCarly?**

_Rated K (I hope :P)_

**_Another Seddie Story_**

_My take on Allison Henderson's story Another Seddie Story. All of this belongs to her, technically._

**Freddie's POV**

I was breathing heavy, running my fingers through my hair, and completely and utterly freaking out as I paced back and forth in Carly's living room. Terrible thoughts filled my head.

_What will she make of it? How will she react? What will she say? And most importantly: What will she do?_

There are endless possibilities to what she might do. She could take it well, but it's more likely that she won't. She will probably hurt me, but it's more likely she'll kill me.

"Will you calm down?" Carly asked as calmly as she could. I could tell she was trying to watch this chick flick on TV and her awkward tech producer/best guy friend almost having a heart attack wasn't helping her enjoy the movie at all.

"Five minutes, Carly, five more minutes until she gets back from the dentist then I can tell her," I told Carly as I kept pacing.

"Well, pacing like a fool isn't going to help anything."

I stopped pacing to give her a disapproving look. I threw my hands in the air. "Carly!"

"Just saying!" She popped a piece of popcorn in her mouth and tried to ignore me and watch the movie.

I tried to push off the fact that Carly was absolutely no help. Negative thoughts flooded my brain again.

_What will she do? She could laugh in my face then kill me. She could be shocked then kill me. Or she could just kill me._

"I'm going to die," I determined. "She's going to kill me so hard."

"Freddie! She will not! Well, she might, but I know Sam. She'd just hurt you really bad. Not killing."

"Thanks Carly. I'll just be hospitalized forever. That makes it better." I sighed. "I can't do this."

"What? Come on Freddie! It's just 4 little words to show how you feel," she assured. "It'll be fine, she'll love it."

"But just 3 months ago I found my love for the beautiful blonde I see every day," I argued.

"Yeah, 3 months have passed by that you haven't told her how you feel."

"I'm risking my life just to show her how I feel," I realized.

"See that? If you say stuff like that and you'll be fine!"

"Yeah, before I die," I mumbled, looking at the ground.

"You aren't going to die!" Carly shrieked, clearly irritated.

"Yes I am." I argued. I walked to the door and locked it, to help make sure Sam didn't come in. She'd probably just break the lock though.

Carly sighed. "Oh my god."

"I only say the truth," I defended myself.

There was a knock on the door followed by a, "Carly, let me in or I'll break the lock again!" I glanced at the door in fear, getting ready to run.

"Carly! I gotta hide!" I looked to the couch where Carly was previously sitting and saw she had slipped out. When I turned back to the door I saw no other than Sam Puckett standing in front of me.

"Where's Carly, nub?"

_Tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her, grab me a Peppy Cola, tell her, tell her._

Wait, grab me a Peppy Cola? I looked to my left and saw Carly trying to hide at the top of the stairs.

Realizing she was caught she smiled innocently, "I was just going to grab a Peppy Cola and go upstairs." She then ran to the refrigerator, grabbed her soda, ran by me whispering, "Tell her!" and ran up the stairs, leaving me and Sam in an awfully uncomfortable silence.

Two of us are the only ones in the room when I decide to say what I've been scared to say for months, and I don't know what she is going to say about it. I stepped closer to her and she rocked on her heels slightly.

"Sam, I lo…" I started to blurt out but she beat me to the punch.

She roughly pressed her lips against mine. It took me a second to realize what the heck was going on but when I did I responded with no second thoughts. The kiss lasted 8 seconds, no more, no less. We pulled back.

"What was that for?"

"To say that I feel the same."

"What do you mean?"

She slapped my shoulder. "Don't be stupid, dork."

"At least you didn't kill me."

"What?"

"Nothing."

**There it is! Sorry if it's drabbleish. **

**Review! Because you and I both know that you want to _really_ bad!**** ;D**

**Yeah, I just deleted a bunch of stories and the oneshots are going to this story. I edited this a lot, too. Hope you enjoyed it enough to review. Or attempt to murder me throught the internet as to why I deleted a bunch of stories.**

**LOVE ALWAYS,**

**-randomness**


	20. Forever's Too Short

_**My Random Seddie Oneshots**_

_Some are fluffy, some are sad, __**most are random; all are**__ Seddie. ENJOY. Ratings vary_

**Disclaimer-Dan can't sue me. Why? Because I disclaim iCarly!**

_Rated T (I dunno why)_

**Forever's Too Short**

_Summary: "Because I don't wanna be tied down forever. I wanna fly free. Plus, forever's too short." –Sam Puckett_

**General POV**

He's had it planned. Planned for months. He knew exactly what he wanted. He bought it. And now he had to give it to her.

But that's a lot harder than it seems. Yeah, he loves her but really? It's just about impossible. But he's already dating Sam Puckett, he might as well. If he wanted to kill him she would've done it a long time ago. So now he just has to spit it out.

Come on, come on.

Then he does it.

Down on one knee he asks her the golden question, "Will you marry me?"

He does it perfectly. Out on the fire escape _right _after it rained (she loves the air after it rains.) He even wore a suit that she laughed at.

But guess what Sam said.

"Nope. But that ring's pretty. Can I keep it?"

Freddie knew she had nerve, but he just couldn't believe it.

"W-What? Sam!"

"What? I really do like it; it's very shiny!"

He slapped his forehead. Leave it to Sam to say something like that. "I just proposed and you said no!"

"Oh, that." She giggled to herself as if the thought jut passed right through.

"Well? Why not?" He got off of his knee and wrapped his arms around her waist, nuzzling his face in the crevice of her neck, which made her giggle.

"Because, I don't wanna be tied down forever. I wanna fly free. Plus, forever's too short."

"That barely answers my question."

"Oh goodness, okay, I'll put it in simple words so you can understand. Because I said so. Happy?"

"No," he complained.

"Okay, I'll make you a deal. I'll wear the ring and show it off and all of that chiz. And we'll be engaged forever. And if we ever feel like we're going to lose each other, ever, we'll get married."

"Really?"

"Yup, so if you die first, I'll get all of your stuff."

"How about our kids?"

"Whoa!"

**Mhmm, I don't even know what to call this. The lines, "I don't wanna be tied down forever. I wanna be free. Forever's too short," Popped into my mind and I worked off of that. So… yeah… hehe**

**Um… REVIEW AND REQUEST.**

**Love Always,**

**-randomness**


	21. Automatic Writing

**_My Random Seddie Oneshots_**

_Some are fluffy, some are sad, most are random; all are Seddie. ENJOY. Ratings vary_

**Disclaimer-I disclaim**

_Rated K+_

**Automatic Writing**

**Sam's POV**

Ugh. We have this writing assignment where we have to do something called 'automatic writing.' It's when you write without thinking and your true feelings come out.

Whatever.

But, Carly's making me do it because this assignment is half of our grade for Literature this semester. Half. So now I'm automatic writing, no thinking allowed. Huh, this might be easier than I thought. Carly said it starts out as gibberish then it actually becomes words.

Here I go:

_Sheinnienndhheiemmdhaalf Friddday Friday night 3 iCarly. Carly. Perfect, better, loved MORE. Freddie. Nub, dork, nice, caring, fun. Brown eyes, brunette. Cute? Love Him. NO. Can't, but I love Freddie. _

I stopped writing and looked at the paper closely. Then I crumbled it up and threw it across the room.

Eh, I can fail Literature.

**Huh, I was rummaging through some old stories and found this. I finished it, cleaned it up a bit, and now we have a drabble. A full 131 words. Magical. :D**

**Automatic writing is a bunch of fun. Try it when you're really mad or excited, ya know, when you have a giant wave of emotion going over you. It's really cool to see what you come up with.**

**Love Always,**

**-randomness**

**PS. Don't forget to review and request :P**


	22. Last Time

_**My Random Seddie Oneshots**_

_Some are fluffy, some are sad, __**most are random; all are**__ Seddie. ENJOY. Ratings vary_

**Disclaimer**

_Rated T_

**Last Time**

**General POV**

Sam sat in the corner, crying. She let herself fall apart because no one was watching. Because she loved him. Because he wasn't there.

Because she'd be gone by the time he came back.

But she refused to do this, cry in the corner like some fool. She's Sam freaking Puckett. She was going to stand up and get over it. Her boyfriend was a totally different person then she thought and since he was so stressed all the time he went to the bar every night. His home away from home. His paradise. But that's what she was supposed to be, she was supposed to be his paradise. She was supposed to be his everything.

But she wasn't. He was playing some game she wasn't interested in.

What she _was _interested in was that he lied. He broke his promise. He swore he wasn't like his father, that he wouldn't turn into his father.

But he is. He is and she hates that. She hates the fact that she can't fix it. She hates that he can't fix it. He's in too deep.

But she knows he's stronger than that.

But for some reason he dug his own grave after his mother was buried in hers. He let himself plummet down, not allowing anyone to catch him.

Because _he_ thought he was strong enough.

Everyone thought it was just a phase; they thought it would go away. He'd stop drinking and go back to being him. The guy everyone loved.

But that was three years ago.

So now since his mother's gone he decided to be the biggest bastard the world has seen. Getting himself wasted then coming home whenever he feels like it.

But she knows it's not supposed to be like that. It's supposed to be perfect. She deserves perfection. It's the debt she needs to get paid for the shit she's dealt with already.

So she stands. She stands up and grabs her suitcase.

And she packs; she packs whatever she can shove in there. Cloths, shampoo, a couple bucks, but some of its just souvenirs. A shirt of his, his favorite cologne that he never wears cuz the smell of alcohol became his new body fragrance, his purity ring that he threw out three years ago when he gave up on life.

When he gave up on her.

Just as she goes for the bedroom door she heard a door slam.

"Damn," she whispers, knowing it's him. And she knew what was coming. It happened every other time he came home before midnight, why not now?

"Sam," he whispered, holding her close.

"Get off me, you ass." She squeezed her way out of his grasp and runs for the door. She grabs her arm softly. With care.

With love and compassion.

But she wouldn't have it. He could have just held her and she would have forgiven him. She would've fallen back into his trap.

But no, he didn't hold her. He whispered in her ear the ten words she's been hearing for the past three years. She could smell the alcohol in his breath and she could hear the deception in his voice when he whispered, "I'll make it up to you, Sam. I'll fix this."

A tear rolled down her cheek and she turned away. She freed herself from his grasp and choked out ten little words.

"You said that last time, Freddie. It's too late now."

**Yeah, kinda OOC, but I gave legit reasons for odd behavior, right? IDK, all I know is that last line's got me balling like a baby. So sad :(**

**Oh, and excuse my language it the piece :P**

**Review?**

**Love Always,**

**-randomness**


	23. The Most Cliche Thing

_**My Random Seddie Oneshots**_

_Some are fluffy, some are sad, most are random; all are Seddie. ENJOY. Ratings vary_

**Rated K**

_The Most Cliché Thing_

**Summary-"…no cars come down this street late at night anyway." "And if they do?" "You die."**

_NOTE: Sam and Freddo are dating in this fic._

**Sam's POV**

Freddie and I were walking hand in hand to my house on the empty sidewalk next to the street. I live pretty far out so nobody knew us or would recognize us. Plus it was nighttime and the only light given was by the old streetlamps that only gave off enough light to see a few feet in front of you.

"Here," I stated.

"Here what?" he asked. I let go of his hand and ran into the street. I lay down, hands behind my head, right in the middle of the empty street.

"This is where I always lay down," I answered.

"In the middle of the street?" he asked, dumbfounded.

"Yes in the middle of the street," I smiled, closing my eyes. "No cars come down this street this late at night anyways."

"And if they do?" he asked.

"You die," I answered simply. I don't know what he was doing, because my eyes were closed, but he was probably rolling his eyes-a very Freddie thing to do.

"Don't roll your eyes," I ordered with a smile, never opening my eyes.

"How do you do that?" he asked.

"I know you," I answered. "Come here and lay with me."

He chuckled, "I don't think so."

We were silent for a second but I broke the silence "That's your problem."

"What?" he asked. I opened my eyes and sat up.

"You're wound up to tight," I said. "Live a little. You only have one life-live it."

He rolled his eyes but lay down next to me. I lay back down and closed my eyes. It started to rain. I felt Freddie shoot up.

"Ignore it," I ordered, never opening my eyes.

"I will never understand how you do that," he awed.

"I won't either, I just feel it in my gut," I explained. "And I always do what my gut tells me."

He lay back down. "Did your gut tell you that you loved me or was that your heart?"

"Both," I answered. "First it was my heart, but I ignored it. Then my gut did, so I went with it."

"You go with your gut before your heart?"

"You gotta understand, Freddie, we grew up different lives entirely," I told him, keeping my eyes closed. "I didn't learn to listen to my heart; I learned to ignore it. I learned your gut is always right; no questions asked."

"Headlights," he said. I felt him get up.

_Headlights?_

Headlights. I shot up and ran to the sidewalk. A car sped by, honking at us. I looked at Freddie and we started cracking up. We were laughing so hard our sides hurt and we were leaning on to each other for support.

"It's raining," he said once we could actually breathe right again.

"Thank you Captain Obvious," I joked. "And I'm a girl and you're a boy."

He laughed, like really, genuinely, laughed. And I laughed with him.

"You know the most cliché thing we can do, right?" he asked, still a hint of laughter in his voice.

"Kiss?" I guessed.

"Dance," he corrected.

"Wow that is cliché," I said. "And without music? That makes it all the more cliché."

"Ok," Freddie said, pulling out his pearpod. "We have music, now will you dance with me?"

"Fine," I agreed. "Put on _Running Away_."

"Already was," he told me as he gave me one of the earbuds and I put it in my ear. He pushed play and I put my arms around his neck. He put his arms around my waist.

"Wait," I said as I pulled away.

"What?" he asked.

"Can we dance in the street?"

"Of course Princess Puckett," he smirked. He took my hand and led me to the street. I smiled and put my arms around his neck as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Now this is the most cliché thing we can do in the rain," I told him.

"Yes, it is," he smiled. I put my head on his chest.

I'd never tell him but it was actually fun.

**One of the extras of my story iHave A Dirty Little Secret. Just thought it was cute and I might as well post It :S It's just edited a little, nothing major :P**

**Review please?**

**Love Always,**

**-randomness**


	24. All Dialogue

**My Random Seddie Oneshots**

_Some are fluffy, some are sad, __most are random; all are__ Seddie. ENJOY. Ratings vary_

**Rated T (for language)**

_All Dialogue_

"This is dumb."

"You're dumb."

"Your face is dumb."

"Touché."

"Will you just answer the guy?"

"No, Fredwardo, I won't"

"_Sam_."

"_Freddie_."

"Mr. Benson, Ms. Puckett, I don't have all day."

"I'm working on it, kay? So, shut up."

"Sorry Mr. Benson." 

"Whatever, now, Sam, just say it."

"No."

"And why not? We got all of this set up just so you can say it. It's all formality, it's already official."

"Nuh-uh."

"You signed the papers already."

"So?"

"Just say it!"

"No, I just want cake."  
"You have to say it first."

"Why?"

"Just say it."

"I don't want to!"

"Why not!"

"Because it could ruin the moment."

"We're far past that point."

"Will you buy me a ham?"

"You have your own personal cake MADE OF ham!"

"Ham and other assorted meats for your information."

"Just say it."  
"Can you repeat the question?"

"Yes, please, Father McGurthy, repeat the goddamn question."

"You wanna marry this boy or not?"

"I guess."

"_I do."_

"I do… now what? Cake?"

"NOW You may now kiss the bride. Were you paying attention in rehearsal?"

"No, and I am the bride so do I…?"

"Just kiss the nerd."

"Gotcha."  
"Good job."

"Cake now?"

"Now you may eat cake."

"Woo! Highlight of the evening!"

"_Sam!"_

**Just meant to be a fun little chapter for my 1****st**** anniversary bonanza. It's a little confusing, but I think you get the just of it.**

**Review? Please?**

**Love Always, **

**-randomness**


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